Heroes Season 1

Well, I would be seriously negligent if I didn't review Heroes, the breakthrough hit on NBC -- starring a Japanese-American Actor as a primary character (played by Masi Oka).

Heroes chronicles the adventures of a bunch of mutants from around the planet(though mostly the United States) trying to save the world, mainly from one evil mutant by the name of Sylar.


I must admit I have rather mixed feelings about this show. It's well written and has nice, edible, mini story arcs that keep you coming back week after week. Masi Oka plays "Hiro" (get it, Hiro == Hero), a lovable, strong-willed, GOOD character. He is the face of optimism in the show.

So what don't I like about it?

It should be obvious, right? Hiro is an Asian Uncle Tom. He's a complete nerd who doesn't EVEN have samurai powers (he actually spends the entire season searching for his samurai sword -- insert penis joke here).

Oh wait, I forget -- fans of the show will point out that the "Future Hiro" (we get glimpses at what Hiro will be like in the future) is a cool guy with a soul patch and a ponytail. Yeah, well too bad they pretty much end this Future-Hiro storyline by the season finale, thus cementing him as a nerd for the rest of the show.


Ok, time for the beautiful people count. Note that Heroes stars an amazingly large amount of characters -- too many to do a complete count. However, this is one of the most complete wallpapers on the NBC website featuring the primary stars from season one.


Note the two ugliest characters: the chubby white cop and (with apologies to Masi Oka) Hiro. Hey, at least the Indian guy is good looking.

Okay, time for the sex count.


Of course, the 12 year old kid doesn't count -- nor does the 16 year old cheerleader. Is it any wonder what races AREN'T getting laid? Even the chubby white dude is getting laid (he's married) while the good looking Indian guy 'aint. Yup, even a STUD Indian dude can't get laid on TV. Maybe he'd have better luck picking up chicks at 7-11.

Fans of the show might also point out that Hiro's sidekick Ando (played by James Kyson Lee) is not bad looking.


To that I say -- take a look at his character. In the very first episode, he's paying the blonde stripper-mutant to take her clothes off over the Internet.

Suffice it to say, Ando 'aint gettin' any either. Plus, I'm gonna have to take a few points off for him wearing that fucking 80's Member's Only jacket.

Oh, but wait, there's more... In one particular story arc, Hiro encounters a waitress with superpowers, and thus starts a LOVE STORY between an Asian male and a White female. OMG, can you believe it? Do you realize how RARE that is in Hollywood? I'm in tears!


However, they manage to completely fuck it up -- because before Hiro can even KISS aforementioned waitress, she dies.

Yeah, forget about the Asian man having sex -- he doesn't even get to KISS the girl.

Still, like a beggar, I can't be too choosy -- ANY Lead role is better than none at all for the Asian Man...and I'm hopeful that Hiro will grow up before this show goes off the air.